13 Free Toast Jokes

13 Free Toast Jokes

by: John Ager & Jeff Lutz

We worked on a recent project writing toast jokes for an entertainer. Here are some we modified from known toasts and ones we had left over…

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13. Here’s to new friends we won’t remember and nights we forget because we blacked out

12. To my schizophrenic friend- he is good people

11. To all the MODEL employees- you may suck at your job but at least you look good doing it

10. Here’s to the gay holiday – Ass Wednesday.

9. May your tapping of the keg- spray everywhere

8. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it wasn’t for your asshole your belly would bust

7. To people who are bi-polar- let’s have a threesome

6. May your mixologist never lead you to see your gynecologist

5. Here’s to Lady Gaga- thanks for always changing your look and never letting us know how ugly you really are!

4. To Kim Kardashian- what a remarkable ass! And nice rear end, too.

3. Here’s to being indecent – if you’re balls deep you’re in decent

2. Well, what the hell else is there? Just drink.

1. To our friends and ourselves- no one else gives a rats ass

Jeff Lutz and John Ager have written comedy together for over 13 years, well over 40+ years combined. To keep up-to-date with the latest follow us at Instagram.com/TheComedyConsultant

Need help with your upcoming Toast? Contact us at TheComedyConsultant@gmail.com. Our highly effective process works for weddings, benefits, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, and other occasions. Click for Reviews and to see longer form sample Toasts we’ve written and/or performed. We got this!