Top 10: Reasons NOT to Wear Skinny Jeans
by: Steve Alleva
—————
10. Looks silly ever since you identified as a Penguin.
9. The other baristas are all wearing pajama pants now.
8. Too restrictive when kicking riot police.
7. Can’t fit hands in pockets when signaling a lack of enthusiasm to your employer.
6. Zipping them requires some upper body strength.
5. Jack Dorsey said so.
4. You just moved to NY and it’ll be too hard to out run muggers.
3. Che Guevara sweats are all the rage now.
2. Dad’s bowling buddies will never stop pointing and laughing.
1. Your emotional support possum prefers cargo pants.
Steve Alleva is a comic and writer from Queens, NY and regular contributor to thecomedyconsultant.com. He has written for several Friars Club Roasts. He wrote and produced a comedy short called “Don Garbaggio” which won several awards and was a finalist in the Jersey Shore Film Festival.
One thought to “Top 10: Reasons NOT to Wear Skinny Jeans”
All of these make sense. Great list.