Top 10: Unexpected Benefits Of Masks
by: Kerry Swope
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10. After use, you can donate it to the Smithsonian.
9. If you’re into partial faces… the dating scene just got waaay more interesting.
8. Even your masked Mother-In-Law doesn’t look half bad in her own way.
7. Your bored wife no longer needs to cheat on you since you’re wearing different colored masks every day.
6. Some women are turned on by the male mask even if the man has lettuce stuck between his teeth.
5. Your mask can double as a Kleenex and thong… but not at the same time.
4. It’s fun hitting on women in the grocery store especially the way they handle the cucumbers. (Okay, this has nothing to do with masks other than the fact she can’t see me smiling like a creep but still…)
3. Men can hide a lousy mustache… and women can too.
2. In the event you feel like robbing a bank or joining a wagon train- you’re already dressed for it.
1. Nobody even knows you have that unidentified lip fungus.
Kerry Swope writes for Comedywire (NY), several greeting card companies, and is a contributor to thecomedyconsultant.com. For more, go to “Kerry’s Comedy Corner” on Facebook.