Top 10: Worst Pick-Up Lines
by: David Levin
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10. Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven you moronic angel? You have wings. Use them.
9. They call me Game of Thrones Season 8 because I’m very disappointing and I give off lots of burning discharge.
8. How about you and I go back to your place, as long as it’s not within 100 yards of a school or playground.
7. Hey baby, do you like your men tall, dark, and handsome? Because all I need to do is put on blackface and I’ll be all three.
6. I may not look Asian, but if you squint hard enough, you will.
5. I’m not the kind of guy who can make a girl snort with laughter, but I am the kind of guy who can make a girl snort with crack.
4. You look like the girl of my nightly dreams, right down to the resemblance to my Grandma.
3. Let’s inject some frisky fun into this night. Also heroin.
2. Girl, you remind me of John McCain. He was a decorated seaman, and you’re about to be decorated with semen.
1. Hi, I’m the 45th President of the United States.
David Levin is a comedian, writer, and regular contributor to thecomedyconsultant.com. For more, check his page out on YouTube.