Top 10: Reasons to AVOID Electric Vehicles
by: Steve Alleva
—————
10. Charging station small talk is usually done by hour three.
9. No gas station attendant to unload that counterfeit $100 bill on.
8. Tailgate Bratwursts no longer have that smoky tailpipe flavor.
7. After finally finding a charging station you realize you took the ’98 Oldsmobile.
6. That tattoo of 80s rock group Tesla just got even more cringy.
5. The only people who can fix them are usually busy with a Dungeons & Dragons marathon in their Moms basement.
4. The best LivePD arrests always go down at Mini Marts.
3. Lack of engine noise makes post argument girlfriend silence even more uncomfortable.
2. Driving through puddles now has a weird toaster in a bathtub feel.
1. Constant fear of battery going dead on the way to Elon-Cons.
Steve Alleva is a comic and writer from Queens, NY and regular contributor to thecomedyconsultant.com. He has written for several Friars Club Roasts. He wrote and produced a comedy short called “Don Garbaggio” which won several awards and was a finalist in the Jersey Shore Film Festival.